What Is a Good Reading Like?

It’s reassuring to have some idea of what you can reasonably expect from a reading.

This page is devoted to helping you get a sense of what a good reading is like.

Mediums have offices in various places. Some use their homes, while others may have an office at a bookstore, in a wellness center, or in Spiritualist Church. If you meet in person, the room where the session is held should be one that affords you privacy. It should also be clean and pleasant. There is no need for a creepy atmosphere in order to have a successful reading. If possible, you may want to visit the space before having a reading, just to be sure you are comfortable there.

If you have a reading over the phone, you can expect it to begin punctually. You should be able to hear clearly. Whether it be in person or over the phone, interruptions are to be held to a minimum. (You can help, too, by clearing that time of all interruptions.)

By the way, you may be asked to sign a release form before the reading begins.

When the session opens, if you haven’t been sent an information sheet before the meeting, the medium may go over a few points that will make the reading run more smoothly. As the session commences, some mediums take a few moments to meditate in order to connect to the energy of the soul. Others may be speaking to you and at the same time looking for the connection.

Each medium works a little differently, but generally, now is the time for the medium to relay information that you can validate. The beginning of the reading is generally the time when the medium communicates facts. This part of the reading is very important – it is proof that the medium is actually connected to the person you wish to communicate with.

To give you a sense of how this part of a reading might run, I would like to describe the way I like to arrange my readings. This is the type of reading I aim for, in the order I like to deliver the information that validates the identity of the soul for the client:

1. Gender

2. Connection to the client (How is this person connected to you?)

3. Physical description and type of clothing the person wore

4. Cause of death

5. Profession

6. Specific habits the person had; things he or she enjoyed doing

7. Personality characteristics and ways of speaking, typical gestures

8. Messages

I may not get all of these, but my goal is to give as many as possible, in the above order.

To give you some idea of how the conversation progresses, I’ll describe a bit of it. Initially, I might say, “I have the sense of feminine energy on your left, which is the mother’s side. The energy is at the mother’s place. I feel maternal love coming through. I would say that this is your mother or a woman who took the place of a mother to you.” Then I would say, “Does this make sense to you?” At that point, you can answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” If yes, then I will begin to give you the physical characteristics of the soul I have connected to, and then go down the line of the other points above.

Sometimes, information will come through that you are unfamiliar with. Make a note of it! Afterwards, I encourage you to see if you can verify that point with friends or family members. As a medium, I love this kind of information. To me, it is the purest proof of mediumship. If you can verify information you were ignorant of, it’s beautiful evidence of the soul’s presence.

The actual messages that are not messages of validation don’t come until the end because it’s important that you feel confident that you truly are connected to a particular person. That said, not every soul wants to communicate quite as much information as I want them to. Sometimes a soul will give me steps 1, 2, 3 and 5 and then want to jump to the messages. I can understand that; after all, that soul is as anxious to communicate as the client is. Sometimes, I can persuade a soul to give me more information. At times, a soul will simply dig his or her heels in.

Incidentally, the way that the soul works with me is often an indication of personality. For example, someone who wants to skip half the steps might have been an impatient person in life, or someone whose mind is razor sharp. Someone who doesn’t want to cooperate with me may also have been a very independent sort of person. A soul who gives me very short answers may have been quiet in life as well. I am always impressed by the ways that personality can be communicated in a reading. Every single piece of information counts and often, there are many layers of meaning that can be taken from one message. For example, if a soul comes through and relates a memory, it’s important to ask why that particular memory was chosen. Sometimes, these insights emerge for clients only after the reading took place. I am constantly astonished by the economy and elegance of the messages.

Not every medium works the way I do. I am a fairly orderly person and I like my readings to have a structure to them. I was very glad to see that Bob Olson, who has Best Psychic Mediums website, and tests mediums on their skill levels, recommends bringing order into a reading in much the way I related above. I agree with Bob that structure makes a reading more enjoyable for the client.

If you find a medium who gives you a reading that follows a certain system, I would call that a sign of a good medium; it’s not a guarantee, but it’s certainly a point in her favor.

I also appreciate it when a medium works with one soul at a time. Sometimes, more than one soul has come through to communicate with the client. Souls can get a little pushy. (I know this is hard to believe, but people are people.) They will try to elbow their way to the front of the line. I wouldn’t hold it against a medium if she is working with one spirit and another comes forward suddenly, but it’s helpful to work with one and then the next, and so on, in some orderly fashion. Sometimes one soul will chime in again later on in a reading. That’s all right; it’s important, though, that the medium tell the client who is making the comment.

Basically, I’d like to see order maintained, and civility – just as you would want in any conversation.

Finally, it is always possible for the medium to misinterpret messages. Try to give your medium the benefit of the doubt. She may need to get more information, or she may need to give you exactly what she is getting, without any interpretation. For example, she may see a bouquet and for her, that is the symbol of romantic love. But let’s say that doesn’t fit with your relationship to this soul. What do you do? You could tell her that this doesn’t sound right and give her a chance to check in. She may do that and say, “Well, I’m seeing a bouquet.” Just knowing that could make everything clear for you. For example, perhaps the soul was a florist and is using that symbol to simply communicate his profession.

None of us bat a thousand, but the main thing is to get many correct hits. Be prepared for a mistake or two. The goal is that most of the information be correct. I notice that when I’m working with a soul, it may take a few minutes for me to get so comfortable with the energy that I am able to easily interpret the messages. Then I’ll often get hit after hit. Each soul we connect with is different, just as every person is different. Tuning into that very particular energy is always a unique experience.

Now, if you are only getting very general information (“he liked to be with his family and he enjoyed his hobbies”) and errors in a reading, you may be in the presence of an unskilled medium, or a medium who does not have a connection, or possibly, a charlatan. We’re looking for information that is specific enough to allow you to know that this is the person you hope to connect with. At times, the information can be extremely specific For example, I’ve had souls tell me exactly where they bought their clothes. I’ve had them tell me the color of their car and the condition of the stick shift; the color and texture of the carpet in their living room; their dream vacation spot. One soul even laid out, point-by-point, how a person sterilizes jars in order to make jam! While not every soul gives that level of detail, you have a right to expect enough detail so that you feel confident you are connected.